Category Archives: hijacked by Collin

Get Crafty with Cleetus Episode 3

Happy Thursday everyone!

Do you ever get down in the dumps when you’re scrapbooking? On this new episode of “Get Crafty with Cleetus”, Cleetus shares his advice for dealing with rejection when submitting your scrapbook pages! Go LIKE Cleetus’s new Facebook Fan Page to stay up with Cleetus scrapbooking tips and for future amazing Giveaways!

If you’d like to submit a question for Cleetus to possible answer on an upcoming episode, leave your question in the Comment Section on the Youtube video page

Happy Birthday Mr Kartchner!

Thirty one years ago God knew exactly what this world needed… so he put together the perfect combination of funny, caring and handsome (and threw in a dimple) to make Collin!
It’s unfair to to leave out his other incredible qualities… especially on his birthday… but here’s more proof of the funny bones that fill his body.
(Recent Facebook updates)

If I’m talking to someone and they’re looking at their phone like normal people do, then all the sudden they “look up” and “make eye contact” with me, what do I do then? Help me out, guys.

In hell, the lights are off and you have to walk barefoot over a floor covered in your kid’s Legos.

Besides being forced to smell Rush Limbaugh’s radio chair seat cushion, what is your biggest fear?

Tempurpedic seems like the mattress brand of choice if you’re married to a glass of wine.

I can’t believe I spent 7 years writing the perfect song, only to find out someone already used the lyrics, “Chickity China, the Chinese Chicken” 🙁

Sometimes when I’m busy coloring at a crowded airport while CNBC is on the TV, I put my crayons down, look at the screen and yell, “Extrapolate!” just to look really smart.

I just saw a bumper sticker that said, “R.I.P America, 1776-2009” and now I’m sitting here crying cuz I didn’t know America was even sick.

I’m still picking dried pieces of LA Looks Mega-Hold out of my hair from 5th grade.

I’m a pretty easy-going guy, until you challenge me to an underwater handstand contest. Then, I don’t freaking mess around.

I get nervous around venomous snakes and people with extremely square jaw-lines.

I’ve spent that last 14 years in fear that the rhythm is gonna get me.

You’ll never have to worry about me telling people to put they hands in da air.

Whenever the grocery store cashier asks, “Find what you needed?” I pull a worn picture of Yanni from my pocket and sigh, “Not everything.”

If you wish, you should friend request him on Facebook since tragically he’s not on twitter anymore.
Happy Birthday Coll! xoxo

Like Popeye’s Spinach (giveaway) Hijacked by Collin

Liz isn’t feeling well so I took over the blog.
Strangers ask me all the time, “Collin, how is your wife so creative?” or “Hey man, where are you going with my shoes?”
It’s taken years for Liz to finally let me share with you where she harnesses some of her creative mojo from. Popeye ate spinach, Gummy Bears drank Gummy Bear juice, Chewbaca ate Necco Wafers (this has yet to be proven).
Liz. Loves. Frosting.
There you have it. If you’re looking to add a creative spark to your kidneys scrapbooking, try adding a spoonful or 3 of your favorite lard-based cake topping. But don’t take MY word for it! Nah Nah NAH!
Two of Dear Lizzy blog’s lovely sponsors are doing something NO ONE has EVER done before, something SO unprecedented, SO edgy, SO out of this world! They are letting us GIVE AWAY some of their amazing products to 2 lucky readers as part of something brand new to the blogosphere, I *JUST* coined the term…. a “GIVEAWAY“!

Freehand Scraps is a monthly kit club that inspires customers to tell their story, be creative and have fun. They offer several different kinds of kits to meet all your crafting needs, including 12×12 kits, mini album kits, and card kits. Each kit contains the latest products, exclusive embellishments, and non-traditional supplies to give your projects uniqueness and flair! At Freehand Scraps, no subscriptions are required. Buy only what you like. International shipping is available (please contact to purchase internationally).

There’s a darling purse mini album kit and the card kit includes 10 cards all precut and ready to assemble with step by step instructions. Card themes are birthday, thank-you, hello, and all occasion. Card kit comes with a full sheet of alphabet stickers to customize your sentiments.

Visit the website to see other available kits and view sample layouts from the talented design team. Follow Freehand Scraps on their blog and on Facebook.

Leave a comment with what is your Secret Super Food or Secret Weapon… a Haiku with how much you’d love your chose of the Scrapbook Kit, Mini Purse Album or the card kit.
Next, we have a giveaway from Scrapbook Circle kit company!
Scrapbook Circle is a monthly kit club that designs a unique scrapbooking kit each month and mails it to thier subscribers. We create a kit each month filled wiht the most current scrapbooking products including patterned paper, custom embellishments and digital downloads.
Lisa started Scrapbook Circle because ever since she was young, it was important to her to document the stories of her life. From the time she received her first camera when she was eight years old until now, taking pictures and organizing them to tell stories has been an important part of her life.
Check out their awesome kit this month that is perfect for the start of summer: Garden Party!

Connect with Scrapbook Circle:

Leave a comment with what your Secret Super Food or Secret Weapon OR a Haiku with how much you’d love one of these kits.
Add extra comments if you like/follow Freehand Scraps or Scrapbook Circle on Facebook/Twitter!

If you would like to be one of Dear Lizzy’s fabulous sponsors email:

The Big Three Oh! (hijacked by Collin)

Before we delve into the celebratory festivities, here’s an actual conversation we had early this morning:

(Baby starts crying. Cue baby)
Lola: “WAAAAHHH…WAH!! WAAAAH!! Will someone give me some friggin’ milk for cryin’ out loud and wipe the poop off my toosh?!!” (she’s already conversing well at just 5 months)
(I abruptly end my dream of riding Falcor from the Neverending Story RIGHT when the bullies are about to jump in the dumpster, drag myself out of bed and pick said crying baby up. I lay Lola down next to Liz, walk around the other side, stub my toe on the portable stair stepper that wasn’t put away, and flop back on the bed.)
(baby stops crying, 45 seconds goes by)
Liz (whispering): “Collin….Coll….Collin?”
Me: “What?”
Liz: “Can you die from a rattlesnake bite?”
Me: “Uh…yeah, if you don’t get to a hospital in a couple days.”
Liz: “Oh…okay.”
Me: “Wha??”
Liz: “ZZZZZzzzzzz……”
It’s MAY 4th people!! Liz is 30!!
Adios twenties. (cue Toni Braxton’s “Unbreak My Heart“) It’s been a fun and very busy 2 decades for Liz. Let’s recap, shall we?
1981: Born. Learned her first awesome trick, “I can hold your finger while I poop! YAY”

1982: Started walking. Sort of.
1983: Found her eyes, ears, mouth and nose.
1984: “You are super duper pooper! You can potty with the best!” ($5 for whoever knows what song that’s from)
1985: Preschool: ABC’s and eating delicious glue on a popsicle stick. (I actually got an invitation from my preschool teacher inviting me to my 25th Preschool Renunion. There’s no way I’m going though, I’ve put on like…160 pounds since then
1986: Kindergarten
(skip along to the juicy stuff)
1993: Jr. High. Cut bangs. LOL’ed with BFF’s all day. Way cute Keds. Decided to do something about rampant Tooth Fairy robberies and got braces (Anti-theft devices) Slow danced to “Lady in Red” with an 8th grader wearing Girbaud jeans and a striped Guess T-Shirt.
1996: Freshman year of H.S. Walks in on first day, sees pimple faced sophomore boy with heinous clear braces (that was me).
1996: Dad dies unexpectedly from diabetes complications. Leaves 5 kids under 15 and a wife. The Lord steps in and takes the wheel.
1997: Pimple faced sophomore boy is now cleared up faced Junior (thanks Neutrogena!) Boy gets the guts to ask Liz out to Homecoming dance. Buys a gallon of ice-cream and a shovel, sticks shovel in ice-cream with a note “I’d DIG it if you came to Homecoming with me!” and doorbell ditches Liz’s house. (asking to date dances is a Utah thing)
-Liz says yes
1999: High school graduation. Senior trip to California with 7 other friends including the now extremely good-looking college freshman boy.
1999: Boy leaves to Taiwan for 2 years to serve as a church missionary, writes Liz every week (except last month). Tells her she should date whoever she wants while he’s gone.
1999 and 2 days later: Boy kicks himself for telling her to date whoever she wants while he’s gone.
2001: Boy comes home from Taiwan. Has to scare off current boyfriend.
2001 and 48 hours later: Boy scares off current boyfriend. Liz and boy go see Shrek 1 in the theaters then go to the Bridal Veil waterfalls at dark. Liz is wearing a white shirt with white capris (she’ll kill me for this, she SWEARS it wasn’t white-on-white but some light blue shirt….whatever. I know what I saw 🙂 Boy and girl sit on park bench. Boy asks girl “Can I kiss you?” Girl says “Uh…yeah?”
2002: Boy and girl get married. (release flock of white doves)
2002: Boy and Girl buy a 750 sqft. condo in Orem, UT. Great neighborhood. Boy’s car stereo gets stolen twice, and tires get stolen once.
2002-2005: working, going to school. Boy thinks he wants to be a dentist. Girl thinks she wants to work at juvenile correctional facility.
2005: Boy fails miserably at becoming a dentist. Girl pursues hobbies that don’t want to stab her.
2006: Baby #1 is born. Avery shakes up the very threads of our lives (in a very good way)
2006: Sell condo and move to new home.
2006: Liz wins “Scrapbooker of the Year” and throws us into a new whirlwind of crafting craziness.
2008: Baby #2 is born: We can do this…
2010: Baby #3 is born: What were we thinking….?
It’s been a great 29 years for this girl. She’s finally grown into that huge teethy smile of hers, and grown into an incredibly beautiful wife and mother. Sometimes I pinch myself (then I pinch her butt because I LOVE pinching) that I’m married to her. It’s not all Oreo’s and milk all the time, life throws everything it can at you, but we hold together and make it through (and then make-out to some Boyz II Men).
Happy 30th Birthday to my widdle-chin, my wild stallion, my Lizzy Bear.
Guess who has “Unbreak My Heart” stuck in their head all day now? YOU do.
Past Birthday must-read posts about Liz: 2009 2008

A Tribute (hijacked by Collin)

Liz is sitting here by me feeding our little Lola-bug as I type this. We haven’t gotten much sleep this week, but then again, we haven’t had a good night sleep since 2006. Sometimes I ask people who don’t have little kids to tell me tales of “sleeping through the night” while I sit at their feet in disbelief. “What mythical creature is this…”alarm clock”? You mean a machine wakes you up?!”
Those of you who have read this blog for more than a couple weeks know there’s 2 things I rarely am, and they’re both “serious.” But, today I wanted to share this glimpse with all of you, something that is very sacred and special to me. It’s a video I made of Lola’s birthday.
How do you capture the million emotions of waiting to bring a child into the world? Anxiety, nervousness, fear, anticipation….peace. We often talk about a curtain being placed over our eyes when we come to this Earth, something that makes us forget who we are, where we came from, who we were with. If we took that knowledge with us to this life, what would be the point?
A few times, sacred times, that curtain is thin. Very thin. So thin that for a brief moment there is no difference between the heavens and the earth. You feel the presence of our Creator, family members who have passed on before us….family members who have yet to join us. I think if we’re lucky, we’ll get maybe just a couple of those experiences in this lifetime that will feel almost like deja-vu. Our eyes will be opened from this mortal life…a life that is hard. Life that is stressful. Life that thickens our skin and makes us cynical and unsure of who we are. Last Tuesday at 5:11pm and the hours leading up to that moment, that curtain was thin, and all who were present could sense it.
Liz and I have dear friends who cannot, for some reason or another, bring children into this world. They are wonderful people who have cried their share of tears from this. They deserve just as much as anyone the chance to experience it. I don’t know why we can when others cannot. All I know is they will, someday, and it may not be in this life but when they do it will be just as special and sacred a moment as ever.
I have a deep gratitude for what my wife has gone through for our family, and for all of you mothers, both current and one-day-will-be mothers who are reading this. I wasn’t sure if this was too special to me to share with you all, but something told us we should. I’ve turned off the comments because I just want you to enjoy it. If you really would like to tell me what you thought, I’d love to hear from you. (
(click on the Love link to watch it in HD as it was meant to be viewed 🙂

Love from Collin Kartchner

♫ Let’s talk about Give-a-Way…♫ (hijacked by Collin)

…Let’s talk about you-and-may…. (British accent makes it rhyme)

So most of you know my wife has put on a liiiiiitle bit of stomach weight these past 9 months which she just informed me is a actually a BABY and she’s not hiding a post-Halloween jack-0-latern under her shirt (phew). She has been incredible these last 39 weeks and deserves a break from picking winners hence moi gets to do it. Embarrassing story? I once saw asked a woman if she was fat, and she said “NO, I’M PREGNANT!” (whoops and JK) This turkey is set pop out the oven 2 days before Thanksgiving so if everything goes as planned, we’ll be enjoying HOSPITAL FOOD on Turkey Day!!!


And just for the record, I’m not one of those husbands who walks around telling people, “WE’re pregnant”. What’s all that “WE” stuff? SHE is pregnant, not me guys, so why do some men say “WE are pregnant”? I do that mainly because I don’t want her walking up to a group of her friends and saying, “WE have been chewing on a toe-nail clipping for 20 minutes.” I…*I* have been chewing on a toe-nail clipping for 20 minutes. Sheesh.

Oh, I have a question for you all: out of 756 comments NOT ONE OF YOU SAID YOU WERE THANKFUL FOR COLLIN?!?!?! Really ladies, after ALL these years? One person *did* mention my name, but not a single ounce of gratitude? (epic eye roll). I would’ve picked everyone to win who said “I am thankful for Collin and his slanted chin”.

Lesson learned, ladies?
Now, if you DIDN’T WIN anything today, please do NOT get angry and throw you’re computer out the window. Bright side? At least your name isn’t Eunice Bumsniffer. (glass is half full, people).
Let’s start with the 5 winners of Bijou Market handmade awesomeness!

WINNER OF “Paperclip Studio – a bow headband of your choice” is….

Johansen Family said…

I am greatful for soooo many things! I feel blessed for all the wonderful things in my life! Most of all I am greatful for my happy and healthy family and my husband (and all members of the military) for serving our country to keeps us all safe.


WINNER OF “Vintage Oddity “Seahorse Necklace” $17″ is….

Kenny & Melissa Hardy said…

I am so grateful that I now live close enough to come home for the holidays!! Especially since I have a new baby that I want my family to meet:) I LOVE this time of year and all of the delicious smells.

GIVE IT UP FOR KENNY & MELLISA HARDY!!! (not sure what & means)

WINNER OF “Autumn Dame “Jester” shirt $22″is…..

Kris said…

I am thankful for my loving husband, sweet & sassy 1-yr daughter and that my 5-yr-old son still likes to snuggle on my lap (even if it is only to show me his “wish” list in the Christmas toy ad!) 🙂


WINNER OF “28th Street Photo & Gift – winner gets to choose a pair of stud earrings & a fine art Photography 8×10 print of their choice” is…….

Sheila said…

I am grateful my son has made it home from 2 tours in Iraq. That he was able to marry the woman he loves, that they are now awaiting the birth of their second son in the spring,after losing 4 babies to miscarriage in 3 years. That all my family is healthy and happy.
That I am not alone. That my life continues to be blessed beyond measure. That even though my Daddy is in heaven he knows I love and still talk to him daily. That you cared enough to ask this question.



Fan(nie) de scrap said…

I am grateful for my two girls and my little boy who are all in good health! Also my dear husband (he is reading on my shoulder ;))


WINNER OF THE “Darling bows and hat accessories for your princess at PRIM COUTURE! “is…

annemk said…

I am grateful for my 2 boys (husband & son) and 1 girl (our little dog Molly)


1. Renee’ Morris-Dezember said…

…with my Dad being diagnosed with Stage 4 Brain Cancer in March…I am SO GRATFUL he is still here with us and will be celebrating the holiday with us in our home. I have something special planned for our entire family…that NO ONE knows about 🙂

2. mom2four said…

I’m thankful for everything: the happy, hard, crazy, challenging, relaxing times of life. Because all of it is developing me and my character.

3. Kathy said…

Beautiful post as always and a gorgeous giveaway, you are a dear soul:) I hope that baby bump is being kind and you are getting plenty of feet up time. We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here in Australia, but I am grateful for many things… one being the cherished moments with my delicious twin girls (now 5), who graced us way too early with their presence during my short lived 6 month pregnancy, they are a true blessing and one that I am grateful for each and every day.

Make sure to email your address to and each sponsor will ship out your prize!!

That was fun. I’m bored now.