note to self: Stop Worrying & Enjoy The Good

myles and momma

first birthday

first birthday

Maybe it has something to do with having lost my father at a young age but I live too much of my life worrying that something horrible is going to happen to someone I love. Why do I do this to myself? I don’t know how my stomach isn’t lined with ulcers. ; ) Even thinking of leaving my kids for a couple nights with my mom I will have visions of earthquakes and fires. At times my worrying isn’t even to a normal degree. haha! Like the kids will miss me and be sad when they fall asleep. I am picturing crazy scenarios including my house turned upside down. At least I still have some imagination left.
But just now as I look at these photos from today of Myles on his birthday I had a moment where I thought, “See everything is going to be ok!” Reminding myself to enjoy the now and stop thinking about what could happen. Because crappy stuff is going to happen… most of which is out of my control. So shouldn’t I just love what’s happening now? Yes, yes I should.
Recently my dear friend Heather’s husband was in a horrible snowboarding accident. A really bad one that fractured his spine and pelvic bone. At first they probably were thinking why did this happen? Then at the hospital a nurse recommended a CT scan to see if his head was ok… and they found cancer. Malignant cancer that was spreading. They would’ve never known about it if he hadn’t gotten in that snowboarding accident. It reminds me that God has a plan for each of us. Do I wish that my plan included nothing ever happening to the people in my life that I love so dear again? Yes. It sucks. I miss my dad. But I also know that I will see him again. When I replace my worry with faith I can breathe easy again.
Thanks for listening to my crazy thoughts. Collin just took all the girls somewhere while Myles’s naps and I had a free, quiet minute to think. Life is hard and spectacular and full of light all at once.
Final statement & pep talk for myself– Enjoy the now dang it!
dear lizzy blog: stop worrying and enjoy the good stuff

Stop worry by questioning the worried thought:

  • What’s the evidence that the thought is true? That it’s not true?
  • Is there a more positive, realistic way of looking at the situation?
  • What’s the probability that what I’m scared of will actually happen?
  • If the probability is low, what are some more likely outcomes?
  • Is the thought helpful? How will worrying about it help me and how will it hurt me?
  • What would I say to a friend who had this worry?

Some quotes I found that really made me stop and smack myself in the face for being a worry-freak:
|   Worrying does not empty tomorrow of it’s troubles. It empties today of its strength.
|   Most of the things you worry about never even happen.
|   Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives. Francis Chan
|   If I could get paid to worry, I’d have a full time job. T Hall
|   No amount of worry can solve any problem.
|   Worry ends where faith in God begins.
|   I’ve got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I am stressing about for no logical reason.
|   You will be fine. Just you wait and see.

 

 

xo, Lizzy

 

 

41 thoughts on “note to self: Stop Worrying & Enjoy The Good

  1. Leilani

    This is a great post. I think that worrying about stuff like that is normal. Because I do it, too, and so does everyone I’ve ever asked about it. It’s because we become moms and suddenly we love these little people with our whole hearts and souls and I think loving anything that much is kind of scary. I have to smack myself in the face sometimes, too. Usually when I’m blowdrying my hair. . . that’s when my brain starts imagining horrible scenarios and suddenly I’m bawling as I’m blow drying. . . and I think wow, I think I really must be crazy. Anyway, love this!

    Reply
    1. Elizabeth Kartchner Post author

      I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one. It’s so true about loving someone that much is scary. Thanks for sharing… xoxo

      Reply
    1. Elizabeth Kartchner Post author

      That’s so funny you mention her because as I wrote this blog I was thinking what would Brene Brown say?? ; ) I’ve only watched her TED video about vulnerability a million times so it’s about time I read her books! Thanks for sharing Ali!

      Reply
  2. Lisa W.

    OH wow…can I TOTALLY totally, did I say TOTALLY relate this THIS!!! Your talking one of the biggest worry freaks ever. Like they yell at me for worrying ALL the time. I felt like I was reading words I wrote, reading this post! Thank you a MILLION for reminding me of this. My plate is very FULL right now and with lots and LOTS of worries. I really needed this big time!!!

    SEE God does work in mysterious ways, I’m going to read those quotes again!!!

    Reply
  3. Kimberly Van Diepen

    Lizzy, what a beautiful post today. It’s been awhile since I’ve stopped over to your blog and I believe God lead me here tonight. I have the same thoughts, worry much and do self talks a lot. In November 2013 my healthy 43 y/o Navy pilot had a massive stroke. Totally due to a neck injury so they say. It made us stop in our tracks and completely re-evaluate life. The last 5 months have been hard hard, yet daily blessings are seen as well. I’ve learned to rely completely on my faith and know that God has each of us in his hands. While we continue to struggle and watch Russ progress there are days I wonder what else will happen down the road. I know we will continue to have struggles, BUT… I learned I can be a pretty tough cookie when dealt a bad hand. Besides, worry causes wrinkles and my dear Prince gave me a few more during this crazy ordeal. 🙂

    Happy Birthday to your sweet sweet boy. He is a beauty. I can’t believe it’s been a year already.

    XOXO

    Reply
  4. Chelsea

    Seriously describes me too. Everytime my husband leaves the house and shortly after I hear sirens drive by I worry something horrible happened to him. I think this is natural but I have also thought this has come from losing my father and seeing my mother be a young widow. I am with my little one most of the day but I worry something will happen when she is sleeping etc.

    Thanks for sharing your worries, makes me feel better

    Reply
  5. Linda Rogucki

    From a book entitled “Your Erroneous Zones” by Dr. Wayne Dryer… Worry and guilt are two of the most useless emotions. Worry is usually about something that may or may not happen in the future and while you’re doing the worrying, you negatively impact the here and now which is in your control. Guilt is usually about something that has already happened and cannot be changed, again impacting the current moment. It takes a while to change your thought process. I thank God for every day and I pray for two things, wisdom and calm. If you have the wisdom and stay calm, you can get through just about anything. Take care.

    Reply
  6. Elizabeth

    I so needed to see this today. I am a worrier, always have been, and need to hear these reminders…thank you 🙂

    Reply
  7. Roelien

    Thank you so much Lizzy for sharing this powerful message – it was something I really needed to hear today! I can relate to this – I start worrying if I don’t worry! My boyfriend said last night that it’s abnormal for me if I don’t worry. Every time I start to worry, I feel so guilty because God did not intend for any of his children to worry – He has everything under control and that alone should be enough for us not to worry about these worthless things we waste our time worrying about. Something someone told me that really helps me when I start worrying, is to ask: “What will this matter 2 years from now?”.

    May God bless you for sharing this message – you truely reached a lot of people that needed to hear that He is in control of everything in our lives and we only waste time by spending it on worrying!

    Xxx

    Reply
  8. KateT

    Thanks for this, its comfort to know us excessive worriers are not alone. I stress when the kids go off on school trips by coach. you want to wrap them up and keep them safe at home. But, then I remind myself that you have to let them live to make life worth living.

    ~Kate~

    Reply
  9. Tanya W

    Great post Lizzy. My almost 11 year old daughter has a ” worry brain” and she has to practise these very same thoughts you have listed. I will share your post with her in the morning – it will brighten her day to see the similarities.

    Reply
  10. Anna Vaschina

    Not crazy thoughts, but real and heart felt. I too lost my dad young and you described to a tee how my thoughts can be also. I guess we are not alone and yes God cares.
    The encouragement you give is beautiful. You are very special. God bless you!

    Reply
  11. laura g.

    you worry because you are a mom!!! just wait til you’re a grandma…then you will know WORRY!!! oh, ya…:) thank you for the post! I’m glad to see I’m normal!!!

    Reply
  12. Jeanette

    I have never thought that all my worrying came from me losing my father at such a young age. I fall in the crazy worry category too. I felt comfort in your post today. I am not alone. Thanks for the uplifting positive pep talk. Less worry. Enjoy life more. Thanks.

    Reply
  13. Michelle Wedertz

    What a great post. Thank you so much for sharing. I too am a major worrier; I’ve been this way since I was little. I cannot even send my thirteen year old to the movies without reminding him to make sure and chew his popcorn well! Yeah, I am nutty. I am almost always waiting for the “other shoe to drop.” My life is so full of joy and love and good stuff…..and in the back of my mind I am thinking that certainly no one is allowed to have all this, so something is going to be taken away. Illogical. Sometimes I have to remind myself to just stop and go with it and not worry. That of course, is easier said then done though. It is hard to change a lifetime habit.

    Reply
  14. Jazmin

    Great post! i have to say that I was like you all the time a few years ago, I would pray, I would read positive things, workout all of the good stuff. The difference between us, is that I actually realized (after insomnia, and headaches) that I had a generalized anxiety disorder. Or GAD (sounds like a ‘hip’ thing to have 😉 Anyway, after going to the dr. and getting on some anti anxiety medication (three months only!) I was fine. Like, I see the world in a positive light, and all the good is in front of me. While I do worry like everyone else, it’s different now. It’s the normal worry, the kind that still lets me enjoy things. Just a thought to check into, simply because this was connected to latent postpartum depression. It’s not like depression at all, it’s just a higher degree of anxiety. I was exhausted, no sleep the whole thing! and literally after 3 months of help, I feel like I live again! Not insinuating that you need, it but if you get worried a lot it can be connected and it’s worth looking into.

    Jazmin

    Reply
    1. Elizabeth Kartchner Post author

      Thank you so much for sharing your experience… it’s very true that sometimes we shouldn’t brush it off with a pinterest quote but get real help to resolve it. Wonderful to hear that you feel like you can live again. xoxo Lizzy

      Reply
  15. Ana Luísa

    Well in this side of the ocean happens exactly the same thing, I thought I was unique, but after all, and thanks God I am not alone. Neither speak in my terrible thoughts of what could happen, even over night in bed, before fall asleep when everything becomes even more scare in this mother head! Thanks for sharing! 🙂
    And yes, I believe that in the end, everything is going to be ok… so don´t worry! 🙂
    P.s. Sorry for the English…

    Reply
  16. Michelle

    Our daughter is autistic, tommorow is her birthday,and I can’t shake the anxiety and worry and sadness of not knowing what comes next for her.
    Saw your blog post and it’s nice to know I’m not alone!.

    Reply
  17. Beth Ann

    Thank you for this post. I lost my Dad many years ago when I was 18. And my Mom when I was 29. I waste a lot of time worrying…. about everything. Posts like yours really help. And yes, you need to read Brene Brown’s books!

    Reply
  18. laurie lariviere

    love your post Liz. Worry seems to come with the territory once we become moms, but I can relate to how you feel about your dad. My mom died when I was 9, then my dad when I was 13 and since then I have always had a fear that I will lose someone else, and I have over the years, but now I am trying to stop because it’s just not good for me, plain and simple. That baby of yours…omg…so cute!!!

    Reply
  19. Amber ~ Little Ella Bug Jewelry

    I am a chronic worrier by nature, although I always tend to see the glass 1/2 full, it doesn’t help me with worrying about things constantly. It’s nice to be reminded of the “small things” that we need to remember and how much joy is around us versus how much stress we must face on a day to day basis. Life in itself can be so stressful at times so its always nice to reinforce the good. Great post!!

    Reply
  20. Charmaine

    Lizzy, you will be fine. I suffer anxiety and thoughts just like you, compounded by having two driving teenagers, some days I cannot bear to think of them being unsafe. Some days I find myself crying coming home from work because I’m so scared of having an accident while driving and leaving my family alone. I sternly talk to myself and try to pop anything that scares me into a *box* and deal with it if and when it happens. I would like to say I am sad you have these thoughts with all your beautiful family but I think we are all normal loving people who sometimes get scared. It’s how we deal with it is how we cope with it. Much love from Australia xx

    Reply
  21. Mary

    Thank you for posting this. Really. Lately, all I have been doing is worrying about things that are so silly but I can’t help it. It’s hard to let go but these little quotes you listed are making me smile. Thanks.

    Reply
  22. Erin

    OH MY. This is so me. I find myself in tears sometimes thinking about what could happen, even when everything is perfectly fine around me. Thanks for the little reminder that God is in control!

    Reply
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